centiSperm Product Orientation Seminar | Leonardo

centiSperm Product Orientation Seminar

By Adam Zaretsky

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Now that the centiSperm exists, we begin concern ourselves with artSci research and development. What can be done with this novel new media biotechnological product? Are there scientific theories, artistic practice, bioethical debates and profitable applications to stem from this?

Products:

Artificial Human Gene Screwed centiSperm For Sale

My initial plan was to offer the centiSperm online as a posthuman artificial insemination product. I am sure there are people out there on the world wide media net web who would like a centiBaby. I haven’t had my sperm screened for safe resale and no one locally wanted to commit to a long-shot mutant interspecies jazz insect child.

centiSperm Glazed Donut Product Line

I began to anoint one of Celia Olsen’s homemade donuts with centiSperm. Actually I have glazed that donut once or twice a day for the past five days. This a perhaps a boutique edible for a dedicated foodie. Perhaps Tim Hortons might be interested in licensing centiSperm glazed donuts?

 

centisSperm Donut Glazing centisSperm Donut Glazing

 

centiSperm Glazed Ceramic Sculpture  

I did build a ceramic sculpture to honor Uranus’ castrated penis. I will fire it tonight and glaze the penis with centiSperm as a physical ceramic glaze. This should adorn the sculpture with a burnt offering and test the applicability of centiSperm as a second level of anointed glaze.
 

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Novel Birth Control: centiSpermicide

I am a bit worried that I am incubating more than insect-human hybrid germ cells. The centiSperm glazed donut could be a petri dish for naturally found airborne pathogens that feed on sperm. Although the statistical risk factor is low, anytime you feed human cells you should be aware of what or who might grow on the rich lawn of easy to scavenge tissue. On the other hand, we may be hunting for a volunteer novel spermicidal agent that could be use as a additional spermicide in our arsenal against unwanted pregnancy. centiSperm as a medium can be used to bait and check novel organisms. Any microbial or fungal life that can grow on a centiSperm Glazed Donut incubator will be potentially resistant to centipede venom. This means that we may be able to derive a new spermicidal secondary metabolite from the microorganisms that can be used in conjunction with various forms of centipede venom therapies without deleterious drug interactions.